My Dreams

Lately I have been having some really crazy dreams. I remember when I was pregnant with Elias I would have these dreams. But with him I was dreaming of having puppies, him being born at a rediculously large weight, just really weird things. These dreams are different. They have come every night for the last 5 or 6 days or so. I dream that it is the day that we are going to meet Norah. Sometimes we are in China, and sometimes we are in the US. Sometimes she has the same sweet face, sometimes she looks different. Sometimes she is younger and sometimes she has been as old as seven. But I know it is her. Without a doubt.
I know that I have been under a lot of stress lately, but it has been good stress. Searching google for the cheapest plane tickets just to get an idea of how much they may be. Trying to get our visa things in order to send them off for Monday. Trying to get her room ready. Trying to get this house clean. The later has really fallen by the wayside. I would rather play in her room. Things are coming together just not as quickly as I would like them to. But I digress....
Back to these weird dreams. This morning I actually woke up and made myself go back to sleep so I could finish dreaming about her. These dreams are so real! She easily comes to us and she has never cried or seemed to be uneasy with us. It is just like she has always belonged. They are such good sweet dreams. But when I wake I am sad. Sad that she has to wake up yet another day without her family. I do not doubt that she is in a really good place! I have heard that from several people. From all of the pics that we have, she looks really happy and very well taken care of. But I am so ready to start our family of 4. She has a cute room and tons of clothes to match! I am ready to have her sit in her highchair that is already in the kitchen. I am ready to just wrap my arms around her and put the puzzle pieces together for her. She needs us, we need her.
I am ready. I was talking to Shannon the other day about going to the beach house the beginning of August with his parents at Wild Dunes. He had mentioned that he may not be able to go but just a few days. I will still be out on maternity leave and just told him that I would take the "kids". That's right, you heard me... the kids. That was the sweetest sound to come out of my mouth. He said, "Do you realize what you just said, you said kids!! Isn't that cool Pen!" Yes, indeed it was cool. Music to my ears.
I just have this longing. I was crazy excited before when we got out LOA and I knew that this was going to happen. Over the moon! But now I am ready to make all of these dreams become reality! Maker her smile and laugh. I am just ready. I can't explain it any other way.
And I know the dreams don't help, but it sure makes the sleep sweet. Sweet dreams.