Shannon and I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone again for all of the gifts, dinner, visits and calls since we have been home with Norah. It means more to us than you will ever know and we appreciate it so much. Norah is the apple of our eye and such a dream come true. She has grown so much since she has gotten home and her personality is amazing. We are so very blessed!
We would like to ask a favor of all of you at this time.
For the next few weeks we will be living a very quiet life with limited trips out and few visitors in for a little while. Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first adopted, they may be overwhelmed, scared, and nervous. By keeping our lives very boring for a while, we'll be helping Norah feel safe. This does NOT mean that we do not want visitors!!!! We do not want family to stay away from us. We just can't pass Norah around for everyone to hold a lot and we will have to be mindful of overloading her with new things.
We know you'll all want to hug and kiss on her, but it is recommended that we be the only ones to do that at first to improve her chances of attaching strongly to us. Until we feel she has attached and clearly knows we are her parents, we will need to feed, change and take care of her. I know that missing out on some diaper changes will disappoint many of you. Have no fear, there will be many more once she becomes comfortable at home! But right now she needs to feel secure in us and we need to make sure that she has a firm foundation with us.
As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called "indiscriminate affection" and can mean that they haven't really attached to anyone.
Things are just a little different when you are adopting a baby rather than having a biological child. She is adapting to a lot of new things right now . . . new parents, new family, new home, new foods, new time zone (totally opposite what she's used to). That's a lot to swallow at one time.
We appreciate your support and love in bringing Norah home. We feel confident that everything will smooth out over time, but our main concern right now is making Norah feel secure and loved and that this is her forever family.
We feel that we have encountered a few set-backs with her attaching and adjusting and these changes are things that we should have been doing from day one. we were so wrapped up in the moment of getting home, being exhausted and also wanting all of you to get to know this incredible little girl that is now part of our family. These small set-backs are nothing major, but our main priority is for her to adjust and to feel completely safe with us and for her to know that we are not going anywhere.
Thanks so much for your support and for your love. We would have never been able to get through this journey without it.
For any of you BTDT adoptive parents, we welcome any and all advice and thoughts!
Much Love to all,
Shannon, Penny, Elias and Norah
7 comments:
Penny, Just know that we love you and will be thinking and praying for your family everyday. Love Dawn, Rob, Catherine and Iain XXX000
Pen as an adoptive parent,I can tell you that you're doing the right thing. Our family and friends wanted to be all over K when we first brought her home, but we knew what she needed and as hard as it was to limit the physical contact with family and friends they all understood. She couldn't be closer to her family, especially her grandparents, and we're glad that we proceeded as we did. Everything will smooth out once you have your "boring" time together.Those that love and know you will understand,and yes, there will be plenty of dirty diapers to change later:) Take care!
Pen
sure hope all is well. I know it can be hard getting non adoptive family to understand things. My mom expected Grace to be attached to her the moment she walked into the airport! And you know what, it still has not happened to this day.
It has to be on thier time table.
Drop me an email or give me a call sometime.
Penny, you've been tagged! Check out my blog for details!
Hi Penny,
You sound like you are doing exactly what Norah needs :-) It might be hard to make people understand but you need to do what's right for Norah.
Take care
Big hugs ((((((((()))))))))
Janet
xxx
Hey
You've Been Tagged, check out my blog.
Peg
Penny, I am glad that you know what your daughter needs! It is hard to explain to people how very fragile these babies are and it just takes time for them to know and feel that we will always be there for them. I know that you are doing what you need to do. God Bless all of you and know that we are praying for you. You have been blessed!!!
Pam
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