Summer Days!

It's the first slip and slide day of the summer! I love these days! Elias is so happy outside and if you add water that's even better!

The Sharp Kids

I was having way too much fun with photoshop! This is a picture that was taken of my
nieces Zoey and Delaney and my nephew Cooper and of course, Elias. Isn't this cool and aren't they cute!!! I can just see Norah playing with these guys! It is going to be awesome!!!!

Where is she?

Here are some pictures of Norah's home. Looks alot different than where she will be living in a few months!!!

More pictures!

Here are the other two pictures of Norah that we have!

The Story!

First I would like to bring everyone up to speed in regards to the changes at our agency. Until recently, CCAI (our agency) would get in a list of kiddos every three to four months and would match them according to our MCC(medical conditions checklist) dates as well as the medical conditions that we as a family research and felt comfortable enough taking. Our MCC date was 04/24/2007 so we have been in the special needs "program" for almost a year. They (the CCAA - Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs - in China) would send these lists out to all of the adoption agencies and normally each agency would get their "batch" around the same time. In the last month or so, the CCAA announced that all of these precious kids would go onto a big huge list called the shared list. Then each agency would have to lock in a specific child and then contact the perspective families. We would then have 48 hours to do as much research as we could, talk to doctors, and get our hands on as much info as we could about the childs speecific needs. We would have to write our LOI (Letter of Intent) to the CCAA that basically says yes, we would love to adopt this child and we have researched their needs and are willing to take on any other needs that were not known at this time. This LOI then had to be sent to our agency, translated and sent to China. In 48 hours. That includes night time too... If this criteria is not met, the file becomes unlocked and this specific child is then placed back onto the shared list where another agency can lock them in. There are more than 30 agencies. Talk about PRESSURE!!!!

Flash back to April 7, 2008 ------

April 7, 2008 was a Monday and I was getting ready for work about 430ish. Elias was outside riding his bike and Shannon was still at work. At this time with the new system everything was sort of up in the air as far as time tables go. No one really knew what was going to happen as far as the new system went, so I had just settled down for a long wait.
I was blowdrying my hair and I thought that I heard my cell phone ring. I turned the dryer off and picked up my phone and saw the 303 area code. I could not believe it!!! It was my agency!!! Pam, who is one of the ladies in the WC (Waiting Child) department said, "You MUST not be at home because we shot you an email about 20 minutes ago and and you haven't replied! You are always on the computer, and today you aren't??" I explained to her that I was getting dressed for work so I was kind of busy and no time to check emails. She asked if we were open to a need that wasn't on our list and one that was on our list. She explained to me that this little girl they locked in for us had a patent foramen ovale and left hip dysplasia. I had them email her info immediately!!!! I opened the file and that's when it happened. I fell in love with the most beautiful little girl in China. Her heart condition will need a check up once we get home and that's about all. I talked to a really nice pediatric cariologist at work that night and he said PFO's need no follow up, they have no symptoms and she won't need any surgery. As far as the hip dysplasia goes, she will probably need to be in a cast for several months and maybe surgery if that doesn't correct the problem.
So we quick get our LOI in that next morning and we are technically are not allowed to say anything on any yahoo groups or blogs until we get PA (Pre-Approval) which could take up to a month. We get our LOI in and we are safe... or so I thought. Pam called me back the next day I think and said their computer systems were acting weird so they were not able to get the LOI in and Norah went back into the system where she was immediately locked in by another agency. Nope, I am NOT kidding. Pam told me not to worry that they would get it all straightened out. I had all the faith in the world in Pam and in CCAI, but my baby was with another agency!! HELLO!!! Pam said the agency would have to hold her for 48 hours, per the CCAA rules, and onces she went back into the shared list they (my agency) would lock her in for us again. Little did I know that Pam had already spoken with CCAA and told them they were having computer problems. And this other agency was nice enough to just hold her and not try to place her with a family. Later that afternoon, Pam called to tell me that the CCAA called this other agency and told them they could not place her and that she already had a family. That made me feel better, but after we went through last November, I just felt like my heart could not handle another disappointment. The very next day, Pam called to tell me the CCAA had unlocked this file for us and placed her with our agency. We were matched with her once again!!! I could finally breathe!
So here we are! I will tell you a little about Norah.

- She is 15 months old, born on January 6, 2007
- She has 4 teeth
- she is quiet
- fond of listening to music!!!!!!!!!!!
- fond of reading picture books (shannon was happy about this!)
- impatient sometimes (hello, she is a girl!)
- favorite activities : hide and seek
- favorite food: fish
- favorite toys: dolls and balls (the best of both worlds!)
- can sit alone for a long time
- picks up tiny objects with index finger and thumb
- likes to sit and play with the toys she likes
- can beat the toys with each other and take toys out of the container
- is interested in pictures with bright colors
- can utter sounds like baba (DADDY!!!) clearly
- responds to the facial expressions of adults
- when teased she will laugh
- show the emotions to be sad, grieved and happy
- When being happy she can laugh aloud
- she can react quickly when her name is called
- likes to play the game of hide and seek with adults
- is a cute and adorable little girl - I promise her file said this!!!!
- Presently has staple food of soft rice and noodle
- likes crackers best.
- She has regular sleep, sleeps on her tummy, deep sleeper
- does not often get sick
- has had cold and cough occasionally which generally was cured once treated


I mean really... does it get any cuter than that???

We are so blessed to be able to bring this little girl into our lives and hearts. It is so amazing to think right now she is an orphan. No momma, daddy, big brother and soon she will have all of this. She will be a niece, a cousin, a grand-daughter, a great grand-daughter. She will have the love of many and for that we so very thankful. Thankful to you for being a part of this journey to family and for showing a little girl you have not met yet more love than she has known in her little fifteen months of life. Thank you.

Isn't She Lovely....

We have a daughter!!! She was born in Nanchang on January 6, 2007. Her official name will be Norah Catherine LanPing Sharp. I will post with more details when I have a second, but it's time for bed!! She is all we ever dreamed she would be....

God has truly blessed us once again....

The Sharp 3... and soon to be 4!!!

The climbing wall and the garden

So my mom and Elias planted a garden this weekend behind her house. They planted tomatoes, cantaloupe, bell peppers, jalapeno peppers, string beans, butter beans,and onions. He was soooo excited about it and is even more excited about watching them grow! I have included a few pictures of their new project :)









We went to the Flowertown Festival this weekend and Elias just had to climb this wall. I really hope he enjoyed it because it was $8.00 for about 5 minutes!! Anyway, he was so brave and tried his best to get to the top! I am pretty sure that we will be doing this again as soon as he sets his sights on this wall again! He had such a great time and did fantastic!











No news on Norah yet. As soon as I hear something I will let you all know!

XOXO

Gracie!!!

My friend Peggy and her husband Paul are over in China now with their little girl Gracie! She emailed me some pictures yesterday morning about 6am! Gracie is absolutley beautiful! She looks like she fits in so well with her new family! I can't wait to see some more pics of that sweet little girl!
It is so amazing to think that one day Norah and Gracie will be playing and having a tea party :) I am so glad that Peggy and Paul finally have Gracie in their arms! It has been a long time coming!!!!

Chin Up....

Trying so hard to keep this chin up. I try so hard to just get through the day sometimes. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. I don't know if it is just that maybe we are at the top of the pile. Maybe I am just not a patient person. Some days are better than the others. Some days just suck. I think if maybe I knew when we would get the call that would make a difference. I doubt it. I like to be in control and right now someone else holds our future. These few past few weeks have really been hard for some reason. Not so sure why, but I feel like my heart is really going to break sometimes. Lord knows I have Elias to keep me busy and he makes me full. This dream has just been in the works for almost 2 years now and no news. I keep saying, well maybe we will know who she is by the time we do this or that. And each time that event has past us by with no news of who our daughter is. Like I said, some days are great and I barely think about it. Other days are just not fun. I do look forward to going to bed though. I think about that phone call and that trip to China. I think about seeing Norah's face for the first time and the circle will finally be complete. What sweet sweet dreams....

I saw this on another adoption blog and thought it was cute... and true!!!!

YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN ADOPTIVE PARENT WHEN:
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's "real" parents.
7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth.(2 years!)
8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the world with a child you just met.
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means, and you can actually pronounce it!
13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
~Author Unknown~

My Anam Cara...

There is someone that has been in my life for going on 20 years now. She has been with me through thick and thin. A pregnancy and the moment they told me I would never have anymore. The first person I told when we would be adopting from China. My biggest cheerleader and my crying shoulder. I love her more than air, mexican food, Starbucks Caramel Fraps, long tubbies, and mom's sweet tea. I am so blessed. Blessed to have her in my life. Blessed to have grown up with her and given the chance to grow old with her. The first time I met her I didn't like her. She was wearing a two piece bathing suit at church camp and at 14 there was so much to be jealous of not to mention the insecurites. We learned about the birds and bees from the camp counselor and we have been inseperable ever since. She has been the biggest support for bringing Norah home and wants her here as badly as we do. I could never imagine me without her and her without me. I love her boys like they are my own flesh and blood. I love her husband like a brother. We all grew up together. She mails things to Norah just to help me keep this dream alive and have some peace in my heart. I could never repay... I am forever indebt.
My Anam Cara.... My Soul Friend...

This is a message that I got a few days ago. Now you can see why she is simply incredible and a joy to my heart:

you are my other half.
you're the one that gets it (and by "it" i mean me)
my steady in marriages, births, and loss.
through hell and highwater, you've walked with me.
you're my touchstone, emma.
you're a miss america smile when i need it.
my music guru.
the only person i am not offended by when i am scooped.
you're my "give these to my mother" when i want a laugh.
you remind me to love myself, and i love you for that.
you're "aunt penny" to my babies.
you're the one i'd walk the earth for (but since my thighs rub together, i'll just fly to china. :)
the happiest part of my childhood
the best friend i could ever ask for now
and the prettiest old hand i'll hold when we're old

you're one of the best parts of me. you're my anam cara.

Head In the Sand

This is what I want to do until we get the phone call. This wait has been excrusiating to say the least. When we got our call back in November I had NO IDEA that it would be another 5 months until we heard something. I don't think that the new list is here and I doubt that it will be here this week. What I do know is I am tired of getting all worked up about it and no sign. Our agency updates their webiste on Wednesdays. We were all geared up for some big news and nothing. They aren't even finished with this last list! So I just want to stick my head in the sand until my phone rings. Unfortunately I can't do that. I try to stay busy, try to stay away from the computer as much as I can..., but it is hard! People are ALWAYS asking me when will we get the call. I love that people ask because that means that they care. But I hate the fact that I say, "Anyday now we will get the call..." Am I really saying that because I mean it or am I saying that to make myself feel better?? Not so sure anymore. I just hope that she is home before Christmas. That would be really cool, but I am not getting my hopes up about it. Not anymore. Ugh. I know one day it will happen though. One day. That is what I have to hide in my heart.

Hurry....

I really feel like I am going to loose it :) I am slightly obsessed with this stinkin computer and I am constantly checking the agency and the boards. I need to get a life. But I just feel like she is so close sometimes and I can't get to her. Ugh. This wait is agonizing... hurry up Norah!!!!

Latest News...

Not a whole lot going on at the casa. Yesterday was Shannon's birthday. His mom, sister and our nieces and nephew came down to celebrate. We had some family over Saturday night for some yummy cake and icecream... It was yummy. But the greatest part of the whole weekend was the cookie cake. My sister-in-law Liz and I went to Sam's and bought this ginormous cookie cake. But it wasn't just a cookie cake it was a DOUBLE DOOZIE cookie cake! I mean delicous! It was a slice of heaven in my mouth!!!!!!!! So we had some family over Saturday night and I got alot of great pictures. I will post more on wednesday when I am off again.
On the adoption front, all is well! I emailed our agency this week to update our medical check list and in the reply email that I got back she siad that we were on the top of the list and we should hear something soon! It is so hard to belive that we could be seeing Norah's face anyday now. I have a feeling that they will get the list the 2nd week of March and we could hear something the beginning of April... I really hope sooner! The Flowertown Festival is the first week of April and I would really like to do some shopping :) I am really good at that! Anway, I do hope that we get some news soon... I really want to see her face...
And the news of the week.... Elias can ride his bike with no training wheels! When my neices were here this weekend, they were playing in the front yard and being the mom that I am, I open the door to yell at him to get on the sidewalk. I gues I really didn't look at him because my niece Zoey said, "Aunt Penny, Elias is riding his bike with no training wheels!!!!!!" I almost took a stroke! I am so proud of him! He just took off! What a big boy! I love that kid so much! He is the apple of my eye! He is going to be such a great big brother!

Peace and Love to All!

Cancel that order!!

I went to the UPS store to mail some Valentine's Day things to my
nieces and nephews up in Greenville. Elias, who is 5, came along with
me and on the way back to the car our conversation went a little
something like this:

E: Mom, you are always sending stuff to baby sister.
P: Really? When was the last time I sent stuff to her?
E: Remember that time we went with all of those super important papers?
P: Yes, Elias. That was the paperwork for China to say yes you can
have a baby sister! We don't even know who baby sister is yet, so how
can I send her anything?
E: Well, just for the record, you might want to cancel that order for
a girl. I want a brother.



What's a girl to do. I'll tell you one thing, I am not going to cancel
that order! He just needs to tell his daddy that he would like a baby
brother next time :) trying to talk the hubby into a next time :)
Silly kid :) I couldn't live a day without him :)

A Gift for Norah Catherine

My best friend Valarie sent Norah a package today :) She and I have been talking about how this wait really stinks and all of the techanicalities that go with it. So, being the super cool best friend that she is, she went on my registry and bought a few things for Norah and sent them to the house. Isn't that the sweetest? I really couldn't ask for a better friend and A.C. Love you! XOXOXO

I feel like I am going crazy...

So CCAI got their new SN list in! It could be any day for a phone call for us, but honestly that is the hardest part! Waiting! I am not a very patient person, I will admit! I have kept my phone attached to my hip, kept a paper and a pen with me at all times when I leave the house. That is crazy. I need to really rethink my thinker. I have NO control over when or IF we get the phone call. But I am obsessing. Shannon thinks I am obsessing. I don't think he fully gets it though. I check the yahoo group about 1000 times a day to see who got the latest referral (2 so far! yeah!!!!!!!). I need to get grip though. Really! Let me just check my email really quick and then I will get on that!

The Latest

I looked at this blog a few minutes ago and realized it has been a while since I posted!
The holidays were wonderful! Lots of food and family... just the way I like it! Elias really enjoyed Christmas this year and there is NOTHING like seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child! I must admit that I was kind of glad when they were over though! There is so much running around to do and that sometimes takes all the fun out of it! I usually try to do a Christmas letter to give everyone a recap of the year but to be honest I was too tired to do it this year! I was just so ready for 2007 to be over! It wasn't a very good year for me to be honest with you!
Elias lost another tooth about a week ago at school! So now he is a bottom snaggle toother! He thought that it was so cool that the tooth fairy left him 2 George Washington's ($.50) He is such a cool kid!
No word on the adoption front. I know, I am getting tired of saying it as much as you are tired of hearing it. Word on the street is our agency is getting a new list anyday now. When I talked to the ladies in the WC (waiting child) office the end of November, she said that we "may" be on this list and we may be on the next one. So, it could be anytime now, or sometime in March. I am really praying that she is on this list :) But I know that she will come home when it is her time to come home!
Hope all of you are doing well. I am going to try to go back to sleep... working nights is KILLING the sleep schedule! Peace and Love Always!

Do you have the toothfairy's e-mail address?

This is how my day started off. Mind you I worked Tuesday night and was TRYING to sleep on Wednesday when all of these shananigans took place.
Picture this...

I am asleep in my bed about 9:30ish this morning. Danielle was over babysitting because Elias is out of school for winter break. He is in the bed with me snuggled up watching TV. I'm a good mom, I know. Anyway, he wakes me up and from the way he is talking he sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. Now I was pretty out of it because I had been sleeping for about an hour or so. The conversation goes a little something like this:

E: Momma, wake up! Momma
P: Yes son, I am trying to sleep. What?
E: Momma, hold out your hand!
P: What? (I hold out my hand just to keep him happy)
E: (Spits his tooth in my hand) Look!
P: No way! Your tooth fell out! Good job!

He gets this really concerned look on his face at this point and I ask him what was wrong. He says:

"Momma, I am going to Coley's sleepover tonight. Can you email (THAT'S RIGHT MY FRIENDS HE DID JUST SAY THAT!) the tooth fairy and just let her know that I won't be home tonight, and to come tomorrow night?"

Sure I say! And just to put a spin on things I ask him if he knows the tooth fairy's email address.

"It's toothfairy@yahoo.com."

I love that kid more than life itself!

I will post pics of him when I get off this am!

XOXO

Still.....

I am really trying to be patient. I really am. It is just so hard after knowing that feeling of pure love. I am hoping that we hear something the next list which may come out in January. I am just not sure. I will be so happy to hear Pam's voice again...

Happy Holiday's everyone! XOXO

Beautiful...

I got these red thread bracelets in the mail today! Aren't they cool?? I opened them in the car on the way to see the Christmas lights and to get dinner. I put Elias' on him and told him that if anyone asked what it was he could tell them about baby sister. I was in the front seat with Shannon and I told him that I got him a bracelet too. I asked him if he would wear it and he said sure! I was kinda shocked really... I asked him of he knew what the Red Thread was and he said, "It is an ancient Chinese belief that there is a red thread that connects everyone that is supposed to be a family. And Norah is our daughter and we have to wear it until she comes home." I had tears fill my eyes. This man is beautiful. I am such a lucky girl :)

Ladybug, Ladybug

A ladybug landed on my shoulder today and took a little drive with me in the car... Hope that means something... only time will tell!

I think I can...

We made the traditional gingerbread train tonight! We had so much fun, and Elias ate more icing than he probably should have! Here are some pics from the festivities! This first picture is of course before....





THis is the icing that accidently made it into his mouth...



Hard at work...




And the final creation...

Must See !!

I saw this on another families blog! Make sure that you have a tissue handy... it's a tear jerker, but really makes you aware of what the birth-moms must go through when they have to give their children up. I could not even imagine the pain...

**make sure that you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page and put this cool song you are listening to now on pause!**

From The Waiting Child

I saw you meet your child today
You kissed your baby joyfully
And as you walked away with her
I played pretend you'd chosen me.

I'm happy for the baby,
yet inside I"m aching miserably
I want to plead as you go by,
``Does no-one want a child of three?"

I saw you meet your child today
In love with her before you met
And as I watched you take her out
I knew it wasn't my turn yet.

I recognize you from last year!
I knew I'd seen your face before!
But you came for a second babe.
Does no-one want a child of four?

I saw you meet your child today
But this time there was something new
A nurse came in and took MY hand
And then she gave my hand to you.

Can this be true?
I'm almost six!
And there are infants here you see?
But then you kissed me and I knew
The child you chose this time was me.

by Debbie Bodie

Three Days Grace...

Tuesday, I was sitting at the kitchen table gluing on nails. When I get nervous, stressed out or anxious I bite my fingernails off and I put on fake ones so I will stop. It was such a beautiful day outside, about 70 degrees and I had all the windows open in the house. Elias was sitting at the kitchen table with me doing his homework. My phone rings and it is a 303 area code. Could it be? It's too soon! I thought it would be December or January before we got the call! Pick it up already! Hello? "Hi Penny this is Pam with CCAI waiting child program!" I know Pam! Pam! Holy cow its PAM! I try to stay calm and collected but my voice is cracking... "We have a little girl that needs a mommy and a daddy!" No way! At this point I am crying! I really tried to hold back! I walked outside with a paper and a pen because I felt like I was suffocating inside... A little girl! I take down all of the information and then it hits me! She has the same birthday as my dad! No way! I think a little more clearly... her name... her name is a nickname that we have called my sister for 18 years! It can't be! What? She was found by a police officer? My husband is a police officer! I am out of control! Pam tells me that she sent the emails with her picture. I open it up immediately, still on the phone with Pam. She is beautiful I cry! That's all I can get out at that moment. Beautiful! My daughter... sweet Norah! I call my husband, my best friend, my dad, my inlaws. Anyone that will listen, I tell them about my new daughter! Oh I love her! I go to work Tuesday night with no make-up on. I had been crying with joy the whole day and I would just ruin it if I had make-up on! I print out her picture and keep it in my pocket so I can show her off! Did I mention that she was beautiful?? We ordered Chinese that night at work to celebrate! Wednesday I go to breakfast with my best friend and we talk baby. Baby showers, baby bibs, baby bedding. My daughter! All of this time waiting, wanting and I am settled. We are now complete. We go to the baby store and walk around, looking at outfits, pappy's and bath toys. We finally perch into one of those ultra comfy cozy glider rockers. I will have to put this on my registry! I love these! We talk again about how cute she is and how perfect she is for our family. Thursday I finally have the time to do a little shopping. A few dresses here, a picture frame to send in her care package and a picture frame or two to put her picture in right next to our family picture. She belongs there you know, she always has. Perfect. I called a dear friend of mine in the parking lot to get yet another dress. She is pregnant! Oh, I love it! I am so happy for her! Go into the store and get the dress... I know what size to get! Yeah! I am walking back to my car and the phone rings again. Probably another well wisher! I have had the happiest conversations the last few days! 303 area code. It's Pam again. Yes we will take her! We love her! Pam says there is a problem. No, there can't be a problem! She is our daughter! CCAA is pulling her file because the orphanage director thinks she may be autistic. No! Please God no! Yes, it is so. But they will put us right back in line and we should hear something soon. No... she is my daughter!
But my hands are tied. I came home and sobbed for 2 days. I didn't get out of my pj's I just wanted to lay in the bed and cry. And I did. My daughter was gone. I saw her face and touched her picture 1,000 times. My heart was broken.
So, that is why I could not show myself on here. I knew that if I wrote, it would not be nice. Not something that I would want someone else to read... now or never.
I can breath again. The huge lump isn't there anymore when I talk about her. I just hope and pray that they evaluate her in the next few years and find out that it wasn't autism after all. That way she will have a shot at having a family of her own. If not, she will grow up in the orphanage. That is what kills me the most.
Those were the sweetest three days I have had in a long time.
I know that our daughter will come home in God's time and I know that He had a reason for doing this. Like my mom always says... In ALL things give thanks. And that is what I am trying to do everyday.

Goodbye for a while...

Due to recent events, I don't think that I am going to be posting on here for a while. I just need to take some time away and catch my breath. Please check back as often as you would like. I just need some time. Love to all....

Take a look!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! Hope that all of you and your kids have a safe Halloween tonight! Elias is going to be a pirate and I will post pics tomorrow sometime!

Be safe!!!

Brownie Points....

We went to my dad's 60th birthday party last night and for decorations they had lanterns hanging from the big trees in their back yard. Before I even noticed them, Shannon said, "Those would look so cool in Norah's room!"

Serious Brownie Points.....

Don't forget that November is National Adoption Month!

Later I will include some links for various organizations that provide care for orphans in China!

Be back soooooon!

XOXO

What exactly is a "Mom"....

I just really need to get some things off of my chest... I think I will feel so much better. This may be a bit long but I just need to get through this...
I always knew that I wanted to be a mother. Always. When I was little I had the doll that pee'd and pooed and you had to feed them or they would cry. I loved it. I am a very nurturing person by nature. But I always wanted to be a mom. I was BORN to be a mom. When I was 19 I got married. I was so young and innocent. We tried for about 5 years to get pregnant and no luck. We ran the whole gamete of infertility drugs. It really took a toll on my body and my head. But I would forge on for the sake of being a mother. We divorced after about 6 years of marriage. I think we were just to young, I don't know. Sure I mourned the unknown. The once upon a time. The happily ever after. But what I mourned the most was that I never got pregnant. Everyone said that it just "wasn't meant to be". How could it not be meant to be? Babies are wonderful and I was sure that being a mother was even more fantastic. I just knew that I would be that old lady that lived by herself forever and had 8 cats and always had cat fur on her. You can even ask my mom... that was what I was going to do. About 7 months later I was working with a dear friend of mine and her husband was a police officer. She said that she had a really great guy that she wanted to introduce me to. Yeah right... I wasn't falling for that. Been there, done that. After a month or two of begging on my friends part, I agreed to meet this mystery man. Boy am I glad that I did. He captured me heart and soul after I swore that I would never marry again. I did this, but not before telling him that I would never have children... the doctor said so. Sorry guy, if you want to bolt I will completely understand! Guess what... he stayed! He sure did. Nine months after we were married, guess what. Yep, I was going to be a mom! I could hardly stand it! I told everyone the very second that I found out! I had the most amazing pregnancy! Never sick, gained about 26 pounds, my hair was thick and shiny and I felt beautiful! I was going to be a mom! At 8:02pm on May14, all of my dreams came true. A bouncing baby boy! Oh and he was beautiful! He still is to this day! Of course we wanted more kids, but one thing lead to another and at 32 I had a hysterectomy. Yeah, that was no fun, but it was closure and I so needed that. We were already in the process of adopting and to be honest, I was more excited about having a daughter than I was sad about never carrying a child in my tummy. So we are waiting now on sweet Norah. I can't wait to see her and hold her and let her know that I am her mom. What I have learned through all of this is that being a mom isn't about carrying a baby in your tummy. It isn't about the maternity clothes and the labor and delivery. It is about carrying that desire in your heart to want to love and protect another little being and being the best mom that I can be. Who knows how many more kids we will have... does it matter that they have the Sharp features? The dark brown eyes, amazing skin, perfectly straight teeth? No, it doesn't matter to me. What matter to me is that all of my children, regardless of skin color and nationality, know that their momma loves them and feels so blessed that God chose ME to be their mom. I AM blessed. I know that everyday when he calls me his "girly-girl".

Good Choices!

This is the number of bears that Elias had to pull today! On Thursday of last week he had to pull one. Friday = None! And today, none!
For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about... The first teacher that Elias had he had to pull frogs when he was bad. He pulled like 3 or 4 everyday. He got a new teacher the second month of school who is just awesome. He has done really well, and she is really working with us and knows that Elias has/had a hard time in school. She has really been working with him and we have been working with him at home about making good choices and stuff. I am really proud of him! Last Friday he got "treasure box" and I thought he was going to explode he was so proud of himself! Way to go buddy!!!!

Please....

Thanks so much for visiting my blog! I have really enjoyed keeping up with it! If you do stop by, leave me a message if you have time! I am planning on keeping it and saving it to disk so Norah and Elias can look back at it when they are older! And unfortunately they will realize what a silly mom they have.... Peace and Love!!!

I Do Believe...

Elias said his prayers last night and the end went a little something like this:

"And Dear God, can you please tell your friend Santa I said hi? Because I have really tried to be good this year for you guys but sometimes it is a little hard. But I do believe in you God and I do believe in Santa. You guys are great. Thank you. I love you. Bye."

How precious. I love this time of year. I went into Walgreen today and they have started to put Christmas stuff out. Just some boxes and bows, but it makes me happy inside!

Oh, Christmas through the eyes of a child....

Thankful

I know that it isn't Thanksgiving... yet. But I just feel really blessed and wanted to share all of the things that I am thankful for. Some silly, some not so much so. So here goes:

• I am thankful for my amazing husband. Not just some days, but everyday. He is the love of my life.
• I am thankful for Elias. Even on the days that he makes me want to rip the hair out of my head and jump off the nearest HIGH bridge. He is smart, he is cute, he is healthy and he is happy.
• I am thankful for our house even though it is right on top of the neighbors and there are no trees for a 5 mile radius. I am thankful that we have a roof (a new roof) over our heads and a warm place to sleep.
• I am thankful for my family. They are the glue that keeps this crazy head together.
• I am thankful for my mom. For those of you that have met her, I don't need to explain. For those of you that don't know her, you are really missing out :)
• I am thankful for my sister. We are 13 years apart and seem to be best friends despite our age difference. She is beautiful, full of life and love, and has the most amazing heart of anyone I know.
• I am thankful that I have a job that I love.
• I am thankful that my husband has a job that he loves.
• I am thankful that our dog has finally shaped up so we don't have to give her away. Little Lucy Goosey is such a neat part of our family.
• I am thankful that we make enough money to pay our bills, even if we don't have much left over....
• I am thankful that my family is healthy.
• I am thankful for all of the friends that I have met this past year and years before, and I am especially thankful for my Anam Cara..."You see the smile that's on my mouth~Is hiding the words that don't come out~And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed~They don't know my head is a mess~No, they don't know who I really am~And they don't know what I've been through like you do."
• I am thankful that I drive a pretty cool car... although I just had to put a battery in it a few days ago and it is going to need new tires soon...
• I am thankful for all of the things that I went through, because I am really enjoying who I am today
• I am thankful that God prepared my heart a while ago to adopt from China. Had he not done that, I feel quite sure that I would have suffered a broken heart for the rest of my life not being able to carry more children. He has such a good plan for my life.
• I am thankful that our daughter will be home with us one day and I am also thankful to the people that are taking care of her right now.

It is amazing to me that one heartbreak will turn into happiness. I have so much to say and maybe one day I will brave enough to write it all down. But I know that God is good. All the time.

Butterflies....

I always knew that Shannon would be a good dad. But over the last few months, maybe even the last year he has turned into Super Dad. Now don't get me wrong, he always helped when Elias was a baby. He got up for middle of the night feeding, changed diapers (even stinky ones!), I never EVER asked him to "babysit", and when I was in school he was the primary parent while I studied and then studied some more. I do not want to discredit him for that! He is a wonderful man! But this year since Elias has been in school, he has been a very hands on, very wonderful dad! He knows more about his day than I do sometimes! I just can't thank God enough for this man and he has made parenting incredibly easy for me! I feel so blessed to have him in my life and am honored that he chose me to spend the rest of his life with and to be the mother of his children. And yes, after almost 7 years, I still get butterflies...

Wow...

Why?
"On the street I saw a small girl,cold and shivering in a thin dress,with little hope of a decent meal.

I became angry and said to God:"Why did you permit this?Why don't you do something about it?"

For a while God said nothing.

That night he replied, quite subtlety

"I certainly did do something about it.

I made you.'"

Author Unknown

• He looks just like his dad
• The way he smells when he gets out of the tub
• His belly laughs
• The way he calls me "girly-girl"
• He tells everyone that he meets that he is going to China because that is where his baby sister is
• He has an amazing personality
• His hugs
• His kisses
• When he holds my hand for no reason
• The freckle right above his lip
• His flat feet
• He bites his fingernails
• The amazing things he makes out of Lego's
• His memory is unbelievable
• His sense of direction
• When he sings "You're Beautiful" to me
• He is a social butterfly

There are so many reasons why I love this kid. He is so funny! I didn't mean to let all of our business in the street, but any of you that know Elias know what he is capable of! He's just the class clown... Let's just face it now people. This kid ROCKS!!!!!!!

P.S.

Have any of you read the strong willed child by James Dobson???

Elias got 4 frogs pulled at school today. This is NOT a good thing! They start out with 4 frogs in the "pond". Once this year, in the last 4 weeks I mean, he had no frogs pulled. On this particular day he also got a bloody nose... but I digress... He usually gets one or two taken away. Occasionally 3. When he gets frogs taken away we punish him by not letting him watch TV, no swimming, no playing, and he usually *gulp* he gets a spanking. Now any one of you that know my child, know that none of the above "re directions" help. Nothing phases this child. Today he got 4 frogs taken and we got a red note sent home that wasn't too good. He was:

• Not following directions
• defiant behavior
• talking too much
• Disrupting class

He got in trouble at lunch for crawling under the table (???). Shannon asked him why he was crawling under the table and his response was: "Dad all my friends thought it was so funny and they were laughing?? Why is that so wrong??"

Ugh. I just don't know what to do. In my next post I will give you all reasons why my child is so amazing. Because he really is. I just don't know what to do!

So I say all of this to ask for your help. Any of you with kids, anyone who wants kids, and even if you don't I need some advise! I am at my wits end with this situation! Any help would ROCK!

New Favorite Song!

This song just speaks volumes to me! I listen to it everyday at least a few dozen times and I feel so loved! If you haven't already, check out Casting Crowns at http://www.castingcrowns.com/ They are amazing! So here it is.... Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now

That You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry

You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Well, I talked to E's assistant principal today and I honestly just can't say enough nice things about her. I went to her with concerns that I had about E and his teacher. Well, we got a note home on Friday that stated there would be a new teacher coming to the school and they would have to take about 2 or 3 kids out of each class to make her a new class. Instead of filling out the paper that his teacher sent home, I just thought I would call the Assistant Principal directly. She said that the best thing to do right now would be to move him to the new class. She apologized over and over about things that have happened this past week, and to be honest I feel so much better. I hope that he has a great rest of the school year this year and I am sure he will LOVE his new teacher! XOXO

Horrid!

I checked out www.chinaadoptionforcast.com and look what I found! This just makes me want to throw up! 5 years! That is just crazy talk! Poor Elias will be 10! Let's just sit back and enjoy the ride, shall we? (I guess if I keep telling myself that I will hop on board!) Hope time flies by!

Our best guess - a weighted average of recent CCAA velocities, guessing that CCAA will perform about as well in the future as they are performing now, but might return to previous trends: 2012-08-25

We are LID!

We were DTC on 8/16 (my sister's birthday!) and got an email about a week and a half later that we were LID on 8/20! We are so excited! We are one step closer to Norah and we couldn't be happier! It finally hit me that this very room that I am sitting in right now typing will be my DAUGHTER'S room! Daughter.... wow! I am so blessed to have a God that loves me and gives me the desires of my heart! And all of the friends that I have met along the way are awesome! Well, I am off to look at baby stuff.... that's all I do these days! XOXO

China F.A.Q.

Why China??? The Answers To Your Questions:

China is a country whose culture dates back to the earliest records known to man. At first glance, some of China's beliefs may seem quite different than those we hold. One example of this is the culture preference for a male child. There are several reasons why Chinese families might prefer a boy over a girl. In rural provinces, a family's livelihood depends directly in the output of it's family members. Because of this, a family with sons would be at a considerable advantage than one with daughters. Historically, it is also the son's honored responsibility to take care of his parents in their old age, so they never leave their home. A daughter, however, would be expected to care for her husband's parents rather than her own. In this regard, the Chinese believe that having a son is crucial to their livelihood, as well as a form of social security for the parents when they grow older. Although in recent years, China has done much to change these belief systems, many families, especially in rural areas, still strongly favor the birth of a male child. This situation if further complicated by China's One-Child Policy, which prohibits families from having more than one child. As a result of this policy, there are thousands of abandoned children throughout China, with the vast majority of them being healthy baby girls.

Important Traditions and Terms Found In The Chinese Adoption Community:

The Red Thread- " "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

Ladybugs- Believed to be good luck in the adoption community. One spring while everyone waited for their referrals, there was a huge infiltration of ladybugs across the nation and immediately following these sightings a flood of referrals came. Or so the story goes....

100 Good Wishes Quilt- To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or " 100 Good Wishes Quilt." It is a custom to invite 100 people to contribute a single square of cloth. The 100 patches are sewn together into a quilt that contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. Waiting families often collect the wishes along with a scrapbook for their child.

Dossier- The set of documents that represents the adopted family. It includes the medical reports, birth certificates, employment letters, police clearances, financial statements, home study, etc.

DTC- Dossier to China. This is the milestone day when the Chinese government logs in the receipt of a dossier to adopt a child. This represents the end of the "paper chase" for the adoptive parents, and the beginning of "the wait" for the referral of a child by the Chinese government.

LID- Log in date. This is the date that CCAA logs in your Dossier on arrival in China.

CCAA- China Center of Adoption Affairs. That's where the dossiers are processed and the children, who live in China's SWI's (Social Welfare Institutions) and/or foster care, are matched with families.

Referral- Notification from the CCAA that they have matched a family with a child. Referral information usually includes the child's Chinese name, date of birth, height/weight, a medical report, one or more photographs, and a few notes about the child's nature.

LOI- Letter of Intent. This is a letter that the adoptive family writes to China stating their intent to adopt a child on the Waiting Child list.

PA- Pre-Approval. This is what the family receives from China after they have reviewed the
LOI from the adoptive family. It means they give the family pre-approval to adopt the child.

TA- Travel Approval. This is received when China gives the family Travel Approval to come to China to bring home their child.

WC-Waiting Child. A child is put on a WC list because of a medical condition or age.

HS- Home Study. A home study is done by a licensed social worker who says whether a family is capable of adopting a child.